I'm Known As the ‘Penis and Vagina’ Kid from Kindergarten Cop: A Candid Conversation.
The Austrian Oak is universally recognized as an iconic tough guy. Yet, at the height of his cinematic dominance in the eighties and nineties, he also headlined several genuinely hilarious comedies. The standout film is Kindergarten Cop, which marks its 35th anniversary this winter.
The Role and The Famous Scene
In the 1990 movie, Schwarzenegger portrays a undercover cop who goes undercover as a elementary educator to catch a killer. During the movie, the crime storyline functions as a simple backdrop for Schwarzenegger to have charming interactions with kids. Arguably the most famous belongs to a student named Joseph, who spontaneously stands up and informs the stoic star, “Males have a penis, females have a vagina.” Schwarzenegger deadpans, “Thanks for the tip.”
The boy behind the line was brought to life by child star Miko Hughes. Beyond this role featured a recurring role on Full House playing the antagonist to the Olsen twins and the character of the youngster who comes back in the screen translation of Stephen King’s Pet Sematary. Hughes remains active today, with multiple films on the horizon. He also frequently attends fan conventions. Not long ago recalled his recollections from the production over three decades on.
A Young Actor's Perspective
Q: To begin, how old were you when you filmed Kindergarten Cop?
Miko Hughes: I believe I was four. I was the youngest of all the kids on set.
Wow, I don't recall being four. Do you remember anything from that time?
Yeah, somewhat. They're brief images. They're like mental photographs.
Do you recall how you were cast in Kindergarten Cop?
My mother, mainly would accompany me to auditions. Frequently it was a mass tryout. There'd be 20, 30 kids and we'd all just have to wait, go into the room, be in there for a very short time, deliver a quick line they wanted and that's all. My parents would coach me on the dialogue and then, as soon as I could read, that was probably the first stuff I was reading.
Do you have a specific memory of meeting Arnold? What was your impression of him?
He was incredibly nice. He was playful. He was nice, which I suppose isn't too surprising. It would have been odd if he was mean to all the kids in the classroom, that surely wouldn't foster a positive atmosphere. He was great to work with.
“It'd be weird if he was a dick to all the kids in the classroom.”
I knew he was a big action star because my family informed me, but I had barely seen his movies. I felt the importance — like, that's cool — but he didn't really intimidate me. He was simply playful and I just wanted to play with him when he wasn't busy. He was busy, obviously, but he'd kind of play with us here and there, and we would dangle from his limbs. He'd tense up and we'd be holding on. He was exceptionally kind. He bought every kid in the classroom a Sony Walkman, which at the time was the hottest tech. This was the coolest device, that iconic bright yellow cassette player. I listened to the Power Rangers soundtrack and the Ninja Turtles soundtrack for ages on that thing. It wore out in time. I also received a authentic coach's whistle. He had the coach whistle, and the kids all got a whistle as well.
Do you remember your time filming as being fun?
You know, it's funny, that movie is such a landmark. It was a huge film, and it was a wonderful time, and you would think, looking back now, I would want my memories to be of working with Arnold, the legendary director, traveling to Oregon, the production design, but my memories are of being a finitely child at lunch. For example, they got everyone pizza, but I didn't even like pizza. All I would eat was the meat from the top. Then, the Nintendo Game Boy was brand new. That was the coolest toy, and I was proficient. I was the youngest and some of the older kids would ask for my help to beat difficult stages on games because I could do it, and I was felt accomplished. So, it's all youthful anecdotes.
The Line
OK, the penis and vagina line, do you remember anything about it? Did you understand the words?
At the time, I wasn't fully aware of what the word shocking meant, but I understood it was edgy and it caused the crew to chuckle. I understood it was kind of something I shouldn't normally say, but I was given an exception in this case because it was comedic.
“My mom thought hard about it.”
How it was conceived, from what I understand, was they didn't have specific roles. Certain bits of dialogue were established early on, but once they had the kids together, it wasn't pure improvisation, but they worked on it while filming and, reportedly the filmmakers came to my mom and said, "There's a concept. We want Miko to say this. Are you okay with this?" My mom didn't agree right away. She said, "Let me think about it, let me sleep on it" and took a short while. She deliberated carefully. She said she had doubts, but she felt it will probably be one of the unforgettable moments from the movie and her instinct was correct.